CM206: Interpersonal Communication
Questions for Response
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Jan and Ken have been good
friends for most of their lives, but because of what she said last week, Ken
believes Jan has betrayed their friendship. Ken: Jan, we need to talk.
Why did you tell Shannon about what happened between Katie and me? You know,
[now] Shannon doesn’t want to talk to me. Jan: Ken, I’m sorry. I didn’t
mean to tell her. I just kind of slipped out when we were talking. Ken:
Sorry? Sorry is not enough. I told you that in private, and you promised that
you would keep it just between you and me. Jan: Ken, I told her that long
before the two of you even started dating. You know, Shannon and I, we have
been friends for a long time. We were just talking about guys and cheating and
stuff; it wasn’t you specifically. Ken: Wasn’t about me? It was totally
about me. You had no right to tell anyone that under any circumstance. Now
Shannon doesn’t trust me. She thinks I’m a low-life who sleeps around.
Jan: Well, I’m sorry, but the two of you weren’t even dating yet. Ken:
That’s irrelevant. It would be irrelevant even if Shannon and I weren’t dating.
The point is I thought I could trust you and I could tell you anything and it
would go no further. Jan: Yeah? Like the time I told you I was thinking
about dropping out of school one semester and you just happened to tell my
Dad? Ken: Oh, that’s not the same thing. Jan: You know what? It’s
exactly the same. I trusted you and you squealed. My Dad lit in to me big time.
He never should have known I was thinking about that. I trusted you and you
betrayed me.
Ken: Look, I was just trying to look out for you. I thought you were making a big mistake and I was just trying to stop you. And besides, you know I was right. Don’t change the subject here. Are you saying, that you telling Shannon, what is this, some sort of payback for me telling your Dad? Jan: No, I’m just trying to point out that you’ve got no right to throw stones. Ken: You know what? Then maybe neither one of us can trust the other. Maybe we shouldn’t tell each other anything that we don’t want broadcast to the world. Jan: Don’t be such a jerk. I’m sorry, ok? Ken: It’s not good enough. You ruined any chance I had with her.
Ken: Look, I was just trying to look out for you. I thought you were making a big mistake and I was just trying to stop you. And besides, you know I was right. Don’t change the subject here. Are you saying, that you telling Shannon, what is this, some sort of payback for me telling your Dad? Jan: No, I’m just trying to point out that you’ve got no right to throw stones. Ken: You know what? Then maybe neither one of us can trust the other. Maybe we shouldn’t tell each other anything that we don’t want broadcast to the world. Jan: Don’t be such a jerk. I’m sorry, ok? Ken: It’s not good enough. You ruined any chance I had with her.
- For this activity, you are answering the questions, not
writing a traditional paper. Responses to each question must be logical,
well-ordered, and insightful.
- Write your answers after each question.
- Your answers should be composed in complete sentences
and paragraphs. The entire document should be a total of 500 to 600
words, or about 2 pages.
- Use 1-inch margins on all sides of the document.
- Use a 12-point font such as Times New Roman or Arial.
- If you cite references (such as the text), you need to
provide the source information in APA formatting and citation style.
- Your document should demonstrate careful proofreading
and follow the conventions of Standard American English (correct spelling,
grammar, and punctuation).
Questions for response:
- Using the chapters on language and emotions to help
frame your answer, suggest two ways that Ken could open this conversation
more productively, beyond clearly expressing his emotions and using “I”
language.
- How do you perceive Jan’s effort to convince Ken to
forgive her? Based on what you have learned in this chapter, suggest two
ways she might more effectively seek Ken’s forgiveness.
- What are two nonverbal cues used by Jan? What are two
nonverbal cues used by Ken? In what ways did the nonverbal cues used by
both Ken and Jan impact the message? What are the verbal messages used by
each? What contradictions occurred between the nonverbal cues and the
verbal message, and how did the contradictions impact the interaction?
- Reviewing the nonverbal and verbal cues identified in
the last question, what are the roles that these play in the conflict? Do
these cues lead to a more positive outcome or negative? How can nonverbal
and verbal cues be used to lead to a more productive conflict resolution?
- The conversation seems to be framed in a win-lose
orientation to conflict. Each person wants to be right, and to win at the
expense of the other. How can Jan and Ken move their conflict discussion
into a win-win orientation?
- Review the eight conflict-management skills discussed
in the text. Identify three examples of these skills in the dialogue
between Jan and Ken.
- Identify three places in the dialogue where Jan and Ken
missed opportunities to manage conflict successfully. Give specific
suggestions (supported by the text material) on how the conflict
management strategies could have been incorporated to improve the
interaction.
